Pray as much as you Talk!

If you believe, you will receive what you ask for when you pray. ~Matt 21:22

This one single verse inspired my prayer life.

Prayer.

It's such a strong and mighty ability that the Lord has given us.  But do we use it the way we should?  I know I am guilty of the lazyman's prayer...tired, little effort, just jumping a hoop to "get it done".  I certainly know why I failed at "my way" of doing things for so long.

Prayer.

Do you pray as much as you talk about it?  Just a little thought to ponder.

Prayer.

Its what's for dinner.  :)   Seriously.  I stopped talking about what I wanted to do, how I was going to do it, what I want to eat.  And prayed.  Not just during the moments that I struggle but for every aspect.  And I don't just pray it.  I believe it!  It may be a slow journey but that's good with me.  I am feeling so much better already.  I can't believe it.  And I know that no matter what comes my way, that God has me covered before I stress over it.  

My Soul is Singing

But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. ~Psalm 59:16

My soul is truly singing this morning.  Not because I peeked at the scale or I have a luscious breakfast in front of me but because I am loved and I am forgiven.  Because my God is stronger than anything I have to conquer.  

I am at such peace with my soul.  I cannot put into words (although if you know me, you know I am going to try...teehee) what a weight is already off my shoulders.  Why I never truly gave this all to Him to start off with is beyond me.  But I feel free...  I feel rejuvenated...  I want to sing...  I want to dance with my Heavenly Father...  

I know I have challenges before me but I have almost an invincible feeling about getting them accomplished today.  My soul knows that this battle is won already.  I need to remain steadfast, unwavering...day by day, moment by moment.  I am finding myself searching God's word and His presence more frequently and being secured by the words I read.   


So I am off, singing and dancing in my soul...

Who packed all this Luggage?

"Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith" (Heb.12: 1-2)

Well, if you haven't already guessed....the luggage I am referring to is my weight.  Not just my physical weight but also the weight of my past failures, inadequacies, shame, embarrassments and just flat out miserableness.    This verse first grabbed me at "lay aside every weight".  Now I know that it isn't speaking literally but that is how it hit me .  My weight is my biggest entanglement because it keeps me from doing so much more with my life.  So much more that I could do to serve our Heavenly Father, my husband, children, family and friends.  Not only does my weight hold me back, it affects those around me as well.

  That my friends is a lot of luggage.  

God calls us to lay it aside and the sin that entangles us.  This is huge for me.  For the first time in my life, I have given this all to God.  There is no way to run this race with any endurance carrying that all around.  I am not going to give in to the self doubt, depression and discouragement.  Talk about entanglement.  Have you ever really thought about just how much that holds you down?  

One of my biggest fears in beginning a diet, or weight loss journey, is the acknowledgment of my weight and my size.  I have always tried to weigh in with no one around to hear my weight's number.  I've looked for a friend to help me with my measurements so my embarrassment would be as minimal as possible.  I could go on and on about all the ways I have tried to hold on to my dignity.  

LIKE NO ONE CAN SEE ME!!  I mean really??  Who was I kidding?  Me.

This is part of why this blog is here.  One, because I love to share what God is doing in my life.  If it wasn't for His grace, unwavering love and forgiveness, I would not be journeying.  Two is to have a physical account for my journey.   And three, because I am not going to hide anymore.  I am not going to let any of this entangle me or weigh me down anymore.

With that being said, the squeamish reader may want to just stop here.


 I am about to share some numbers as well as *gasp* photos of the true me.  The only photo I am not going to share is the shot of my stomach with my skin showing.  Not because I am embarrassed but because I want to hold it and show you what changes have commenced on another post.  (I know....a special slide show of my progress of my fat stomach's reduction.  SQUEEEEEE!  You're Welcome. LOL)  So if you are still here, its not because I haven't warned or given you enough time to close down.

So without further Adieu ....Here I am.

Weight: 350.5lbs  Height: 5'8"  Chest: 62"  Waist: 61"  Hips: 68"  Arm: 18"  Thigh: 31"

So now its all out on the table.  I have nothing to hide.  And you are still here reading this....  Thank you.
I am looking forward to sharing again.   Blessings....Me

My Escape Hatch

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. 1 Corinthians 10:13

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man.  Phew...what a relief!  There are more of us out there.  You know, the ones who have waivered in our diets, cheated (really only on ourselves), basically failing with temptations over and over again.  Yes.  Thats me.  One of diet's biggest failures in life.  I have tried them all, starved and binged, tried again.  I have used my kids, my husband, new wardrobe and even tried to have my parents bribe me to keep my goal focused.  FAILURE! 

Today I am the heaviest, largest and most obese I have ever been.  It didn't happen overnight.  I was never truly ever thin.  But I was never fat and I most certainly was never this unhealthy.  Most of my weight gain was just lack of exercise, poor choices, mommyhood, miscarriages, surgeries and just plain ole self sabotage.   I did it to myself.  Its not my genes although they aren't very slender either.  Its not anyone's fault but my own.

Great I've claimed it.  Now what?

Now I start over.  In a way that I have never done before.  I am giving up this journey now!!! Yep, I'm quitting!!!

  I am laying down my desires, my will and my plans.  I quit.   I am giving it to someone much bigger this time.  I am letting him carry it.  Well, me to be exact cause I sure can't carry myself.  I can't even hardly get off the floor by myself.   I am giving this journey to God.  I am learning and understanding just where I have gone wrong all these years.  See I never looked at becoming healthy being within my abilities...with temptations.  I never looked for the way out when temptation was in my way.   My escape hatch was there all the time.

My escape hatch.  It was not disguised as my refrigerator or cheese and crackers or even as a diet pop.  God was there all the time.  How many times did I just have to seek Him, His strength and His wisdom to show me the way?  To carry me through just a little longer?  I think it would be easier to say just how many times I have actually done just that.  Few...very few.  So few its probably close to none.  I have rested on my own strengths and we know just where that trip  has gotten me.  Back to square one with more pounds packed in the luggage.  Ugh.  My luggage.  That is going into tomorrow's post.  For now, I am holding onto to God and to 1 Corinthians 10:13.  I have the verse in memory and praying that God will help me become who he wants me to be.  Inside and Out.

If you are reading this I offer you this one and only disclaimer.  This is me, no holds barred.  Plain, honest...blatantly so at times.  A chronicle of where I am now and the changes that I am going through to reclaim my body and my life with the help of Christ.